Mental and Emotional Health

I wanted to explore this topic in the context of my recovery post cancer, but first I want to highlight that I am not qualified to provide professional advice about mental health.

This post is written to explore and share my own thoughts and challenges in this space, particular post cancer. If you, or anyone you know in Australia needs emergency medical treatment please call 000, or for crisis support please contact Lifeline.

Talking About Mental Health

Mental health and wellbeing is talked about a lot now which is a good thing. When I was growing up it wasn't. Adults seemed to just 'get on with things' (or be expected to) and difficult experiences, and emotions, were often not talked about.

Perhaps unsurprisingly a lot of the focus and conversations in the context of mental health are on mental illness, with 1 in 5 people over 16 in Australia being impacted in 12 months, but mental health is much more than that.

Mental Health & Emotional Health

Mental health tends to focus on our cognitive processes, on how we think, and emotional health (which is essentially a subset of mental health), focuses on how we feel. Both are essential for psychological wellbeing, and they determine how we act.

To describe mental health I like this definition from the WHO:

"Mental health is a state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute to their community. It is an integral component of health and well-being that underpins our individual and collective abilities to make decisions, build relationships and shape the world we live in." World Health Organisation

Consolidating things I've read I'd describe emotional health as how we:

1. Feel about ourselves and our place in the world,

2. Identify, understand, manage, and express our emotions,

3. Identify, understand, and respond to the emotions of others,

4. Maintain healthy relationships & relate well to others, &

5. Effectively manage the ups and downs of life.

Coping With Cancer

For me mental health has always been closely linked with emotional wellbeing, and as someone that's always been emotional, I've often felt I let myself or others down by displaying my feelings and by struggling to control how I feel.

Initially when I was diagnosed with cancer I felt numb, my step-father had died the day before, and although I was nervous about the results of the biopses I'd kept telling myself everything would be fine. Then suddenly everything changed and I had cancer.

I've cried a lot over the last year but nowhere near as much as I thought I would. I've always been a 'heart on the sleeves' person and used to think it was a real sign of weakness. Although there are still times I'd like to better control how I'm thinking and feeling about various things, I've come to accept that my sensitivity can also be a strength in life and relationships.

During my cancer treatment whether it was at Doctor's offices, various treatment rooms, or hospitals, as I soon as I was upset, particularly if I cried, the most regular response was to ask me if I was seeing a psychologist, which I found frustrating.

I actually was seeing a psychologist as I chose to see one throughout last year as I knew the cancer journey would be hard and I wanted all the help I could get.

My psychologist was really lovely and created a safe space for me to express my feelings and get support. As I told her though - I don't know what kind of skills or magic powers the medical profession thinks she has - as she could not make my cancer experience less traumatic.

My frustation had nothing to do with not wanting psychological help. I was frustrated because in my limited experience of dealing with my own cancer, it seems perfectly 'normal' to me that I would get upset at times, in fact I expected to feel sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, hurt, fearful and more.

Whilst I expect all the medical professionals that saw me upset were wanting to fulfil their duty of care and make sure I knew help was available, this immediate response to essentially ask 'are you seeing a therapist' made me feel that in their view, they saw my sadness or fear, as signs I wasn't coping well, and that made me feel more upset. After all, what does coping well with cancer really look like?

Is pretending you are fine the answer? I don't think so.

Explaining how we feel can also be hard on those we love, particularly as loved ones naturally want us to be feeling positive, at least the vast majority of the time. I completely agree that a positive approach is really important, but I also found that I was desperately wanting to be able to be really honest and open about my thoughts and feelings, without feeling like I was making people more worried about me.

At the same time as a patient you don't want to be talking about cancer, or how you feel about cancer and caner treatment, with everyone all the time. At times you want to pretend none of it exists.

My active cancer treatment (chemo, surgeries and radiation) ended 5 months ago and I do not feel recovered. I'm not even sure what recoved will genuinely look and feel like mentally, emotionally and physically. I guess in time I will find out and hopefully share it on this blog.

Strategies to Improve Mental and Emotional Health

Below are some of the recommendations I'm focusing on to improve my mental and emotional wellbeing:

1. Prioritise self-care

2. Be kinder to yourself

3. Make more time to relax

4. Spend more time in nature

5. Try new things

6. Work out what brings you joy and do more of it

7. Focus on small, easy to win goals

8. Less screen time

9. Drink more water

Inspirational ideas, sharing what's worked for you, are always welcome, please email info@life-style-fit.com

#mentalwellbeing #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #emotionalwellbeing #cancerrecovery #wellness